I was invited to attend a meeting of a group of business leaders. I walked into a very large room filled with men in suits. Suddenly I felt very out of place. The men were standing in tight circles and nobody was moving around amongst the groups.
I got myself a cup of coffee and found a place to sit down by myself. Another woman, much younger than me, sat down beside me. And then a third woman appeared. There were now maybe 100 men in the room. We shared how uncomfortable we were.
When the event got started, I noticed a few more women. Still there were probably only six of us. I was uncomfortable and left as soon as I could after the speaker finished.
I was invited to join, but I declined. I feel sure I was invited because they wanted more female members. Their culture betrayed their good intentions.
How could this organization have won me over? Had I known they wanted more women I would have been prepared. Had someone come over to me and greeted me, and introduced me to members, I would have avoided that awkward half hour before the meal. To his credit, I eventually connected with the man who had invited me, and he found me a seat, and introduced me to a few people. But by then, it was too late.
How an organization makes us feel is a big factor in the decision to join. If we feel isolated and uncomfortable, that is reason enough not to join.
Organizations have a hard time bringing in targeted groups of people when there are very few of those of the targeted group visible. Imagine being 27 and walking into a room of people 60 and up.
Just inviting a member of a targeted group is not enough.
